By Splendor Eloke-Young
If you want to change the future, you must change what you’re doing in the present.
The truth smeared all over this wise saying by Mark Twain should not easily be overlooked. Most mothers, however, tend to ignore this simple truth as they assume the responsibility of raising their daughters. It is the duty of wise mothers whose desire is to raise girls with a confident future to help them cultivate the right attitude early enough. Enlightened mothers who are aligned with the single vision to break through the current patriarchal system of the world will always ensure that their words and actions towards their daughters, never ceases to ignite the passion in them to become great career women in all fields.
It is clearly impossible for a 10years old girl to grow into a responsible and highly admired mother in the future if she has not been tutored, mentored and trained to become that. The old cliché that says; practice makes perfect have long been abandoned in certain areas of human life especially with regards to child upbringing. There are certain habits which if consistently practised by the child at a very early stage, will help her become a great mother and a role model to her children. Your daughter will be forever grateful to you only if you patiently take the pain of Instilling in her the vital attitudes which will contribute to having a smooth ride when the responsibility of parenting comes knocking on the door.
No doubt, decision making is one of the unavoidable task and highly crucial responsibility faced by mothers during parenting. Therefore, as children grow older, mothers should learn to give them an opportunity to harness great and prompt decision-making skills.
To harness the future mum in your little girl, you must learn to let her have a voice in making decisions. Whenever possible, let her make constructive choices about her life and also about minor things in the family. You can do this by letting her choose her own clothes within appropriate limits, allowing her choose which mall will be suitable for the weekend shopping, you could as well give her a chance to decide the location of the family vacation, or even explore seeking their opinion on which particular gadget to purchase for the kitchen.
Involving the child in little yet vital decisions that matter to the family will simultaneously equip him with the needed skills to make future difficult decisions when she is older. As you journey through the process of assisting your little girl to discover and embrace the future mother within her, you must also bear in mind that risk-taking is an unavoidable factor in the life of great achievers.
Dear mums, this means you have to encourage your little girl to take physical risks.
JoAnn Deak, PhD, author of Girls Will Be Girls says that “Girls who avoid risks have poorer self-esteem than girls who can and do face challenges”. Urge your daughter to go beyond her comfort zone – For example, encourage a girl who loves to read-only comic and adventurous novels to study biographies of great people who have succeeded in her aspiring career.
You can also encourage a girl who’s scared to ride her bike downhill to find just a small hill to conquer first.” Catherine Steiner-Adair, Ed.D., co-author of Full of Ourselves: A Wellness Program to Advance Girl Power, Health and Leadership, agrees. “It’s important to help even non-athletic girls develop some physical competence and confidence when they’re young. Whether it’s through team or individual sports, girls need to form a physical relationship with their body that builds confidence.”
In your few days, months or years of being a mum, you will admit that consistent openness to learning has remained one of the helpful skills that have made parenting easier, also this trait will be needed to give your daughter a successful ride in her future journey through motherhood. Providing answers to the endless questions thrown at you by your little girl will teach her to give an open mind to learning in whatever condition she finds herself.
In conclusion, mothers must acknowledge that being a successful mum is never complete until you have replicated such success in a daughter who is fully armed with the prerequisite attributes to help her raise a generation of responsible leaders.