Wherever you go in Africa, more and more Black African women are choosing to date outside of their race. Reason’s may vary from “White men don’t cheat as much as black men”, “Black men find my success intimidating” or “A white man can offer me a better quality of life”.
By Kembet Bolton I am sorry. If you’re a woman, there’s a good chance you use this phrase a lot—in fact, you may use it way too much. That’s not your fault. Women are taught and socialized to say sorry—to feel sorry—whether they’re in the wrong or not. It’s a form of deference, and it’s a way of making ourselves smaller or just appeasing. And even though it becomes such an ingrained part of our vocabularies that we often apologize when we are not wrong. It’s not good for us—and it’s not good for our relationships, romantic and otherwise. Because all too frequently, those apologies aren’t real apologies at all. They’re said out of a sense of duty or awkwardness, to stop someone from getting angry or to hide the fact that we’re angry ourselves. So, it’s time to take a little inventory of our “I’m sorry” habit—and look at…
By Kembet Bolton I had just run 1 hour straight on the treadmill in a local gym and was frantically looking for a spot to sit my butt. The only available spot was a little space in a couch where three ladies who haven’t lifted a dumbbell since they walked in sat and were chatting heartily. I squeezed myself in as I was too tired to ask for permission, the seat belongs to the gym after all. They were chatting loudly and I wasn’t sure if it was polite to listen to their conversation. I later rationalized that this wasn’t eavesdropping, as they were aware of my presence. It was an interesting conversation that kept me glued to the couch for more than thirty minutes, when normally I will only take two to three minutes break to catch my breath after an intense workout. One of the ladies, a tall…
By Miracle Nwankwo I thought I would be the first bride-to-be to make history with planning a stress-free wedding, but as my big day inches closer, I have had to swallow the bitter truth that my wedding is not going to be all about me, and it involves a lot of things and people. Let’s be real, planning a wedding can be extremely stressful and can take a toll on your relationship if you are not mindful. No matter how much we thought it we would be different, and how much we had planned on keeping it cool and simple, the reality often turns out poles apart. No bride wants to go into their wedding day feeling frustrated with their partner. I don’t even want to plan a successful wedding day and then lose the bond and friendship I have built in years. It’s true that we all want to…
By Kembet Bolton
Conflict is inevitable in relationships. Couples argue about all sort of issues ranging from finance to little stuff like who sleeps on what side of the bed. Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. Every couple is going to argue. What matters is how you fight, and how those negative interactions balance out with positive interactions.
By Kembet Bolton
Generally, relationships come with their ups and downs, but it becomes even tougher for a long-distance relationship. People in long-distance relationships are on a different lane from people in short-distance relationships, as the distance can create some unique challenges that might put pressure on the relationship, and if not handled carefully, can actually destroy what could have potentially been “A happy ever after’’ story
Another Look at the Othello Syndrome
Since the coronavirus lockdown, my High School Alumni WhatsApp group has been one of my favourite pastimes. Over the last four weeks, I have spent some time catching up on chats with my homegirls, and it has been an amazing experience.
About a week ago, I read a personal experience posted by one of the girls on the group, Chinelo. It was a story about her relationship with an abusive partner, and it opened up a whole new dimension to a very much ignored aspect of spousal abuse or Intimate Partner Violence. The overwhelming response to the story from other members of the group recounting their similar experiences got me wondering; how many ladies have been through this, and how many ever got the chance to speak about it? I was also very concerned because I could Identify with Chinelo’s story, it sounded very much like my account but for a few twists.