The concept of love means so many things to so many people, and until we get the meaning of love right, a lot will continue to go wrong in our relationships.
In an Amazons Watch Magazine interview session with Miss Stella, she shares with our readers some deep truths and insightful lessons. People say experience is the best teacher, but a smarter way to learn is by taking the lessons from other people’s experiences to avoid making those same mistakes”.
“I made lots of mistakes in my previous relationship. This is why I want to share it. I want other ladies to learn from my experience and avoid similar pitfalls. I have recovered from the pain and all, so I am ready to share my story.”
“Love is one of the most used and misused word I know. There’s more to what we call love. From my experience, love is not a feeling, but an action, something I didn’t understand,” said Stella.
Although she had been in a relationship for a couple of years with marriage in view, or so she thought, the young man in question never showed any form of commitment to the relationship, nor did he value her.
“I made a mistake. He claimed to love me, but his actions never portrayed it. Never stay where you are not regarded or appreciated. Due to how long we’ve been together, I wanted the relationship to be the last relationship that would lead to marriage, so I remained. I tolerated his mess,” she narrated rather regrettably.
“Every woman deserves to be respected. A man who doesn’t respect your time, your presence or appreciates your efforts to the relationship is toxic.”
Stella also told us on the importance of mutual and shared beliefs and values in a relationship. Its easier to build a relationship with someone who is of the same faith. However, if you plan on building a relationship with a person that shares a different faith, make sure that you both have reached a thorough and mutual understanding on your differences.
“I used to think the issue of shared beliefs wasn’t so important in a relationship, and it was something we could handle. But this was another angle that led to so much strain on the relationship.”
After much pressure was mounted on the man by his family, they got engaged. This, to Stella, was a moment she needed to evaluate if she was ready to go all the way into marriage.
“Sometimes, you must ignore what you think people will say and do what you consider to be fair and right for you. I knew if I proceeded with any marital plan, I would be making the mistake of my life because the man in question was not ready to take any responsibility.”
“I mean, I work and I am an independent woman, so it’s not like I depended on him, but this man wasn’t ready to be committed. I often foot the bills. He works too, but I would never see a dime from him. I wasn’t ready to do this for the rest of my life.”
According to her, she said walking away was the best decision she took.
“Yes, I know I wasted some years, but I am glad I found the courage to walk away. I rather regret it now than later.”
“In the long run, I learned the hard way that love is simply about understanding, respect and commitment. It is an action word and not just a feeling. I think every woman should know this to avoid repeating my mistakes.”