7 Things

7 Things Never to Say to a Survivor of a Sexual Crime

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As incidences of rape and other sexual crimes increase, many victims are learning to speak up and seek justice for the crime committed.

Speaking up is never easy for a victim, and so when they find the voice to do so, there are things to never say to them.

Here are 7 of such things;

  1. Never ask a victim if they enjoyed the act. Nobody ever likes to be overpowered and humiliated in such a way.
  2. Never tell a survivor that you don’t believe her, even if the story does not entirely add up. According to survey respondents, being disbelieved is a survivor’s greatest fear.
  3. Never tell a victim it was her fault. There is no justification for rape, and even if a victim was somehow careless by perhaps walking late alone on a lonely path, she would already have blamed herself enough. Do not add to it.
  4. Never make fun of a victim. She has faced an attacker who may have been willing to kill, and survived. What is funny about this, anyway?
  5. Never tell them it was God’s will. You can, however, say it was God’s will that they survived.
  6. Never ask them not to speak up about it. Though it might upset a victim to speak about the experience, it might still be the only way for them to sort through it.
  7. Never say something like, “Well, it’s been six months (a year, five years etc.) and ask if they are not “over it” yet. The chances are that they may not be ready to go back to life as it was. They may never be ready and may have to create a new life for themselves as they learn to feel safe again.

Kembet Bolton

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