We’ve all heard the phrase, “misery loves company,” right?
And it’s true. Have you ever noticed how when someone else starts complaining, you want to complain right along with them? Or you start a conversation with someone and the person starts throwing some negative vibes and ten minutes later – you’re both in a horrible mood.
How about when something exciting happens, but you don’t want to share the awesome news because you don’t want to bring the other person down?
When all of these things happen, we fail to create space in our lives for good things to happen. We’re expecting the worst of the worst, which is really an exhausting way to live.
In order to live a life devoid of so much negative energy, here are 7 steps to avoiding negative energy in your life:
- MAKE THIS A PRIORITY.
It’s easy to say you’re going to do something and not follow through. Because until you make it a priority, it’s going to be a lingering thought in your head. Something you’d like to do, but not something you’re actually committed to.
Write down why you’re doing this. Why it’s important to you. Why is removing negative energy from your life important to you? What will you gain from it? How will it help you get closer to your goals?
- BE MINDFUL OF YOUR WORDS.
Start writing down the thoughts you’re saying to yourself. What kind of words and phrases are you using? Are you constantly saying you can’t do something? Or it’s just “not for you”? If you repeat something enough times, you’ll start to believe it.
Instead, work on empowering yourself. Remind yourself that you are capable and good things can happen to you too. Write down your goals and why they’re important to you. Be grateful for what you have instead of always focusing on what you don’t. You can be grateful while working towards your goals.
- STOP COMPLAINING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
This goes with being mindful of your words. You also have to be mindful of the energy you’re putting out and the energy you’re letting in. Energy is contagious – if you spend your time with people who act rather than sit around and complain about their situation all day, you’re going to become an action taker too.
Because the truth is (and this is for someone who loves to complain and play the “my life sucks and this is why” card) you don’t accomplish anything by sitting around and complaining except feeding your own ego. Hoping something will happen will not help make things happen. Taking action isn’t easy, but neither is feeling stuck and like nothing is “happening in your life”. Nothing is happening, because you’re not making it happen.
- BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE AROUND.
Misery loves company, right? We’re the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. The next time you’re around someone, take a look at how you feel before, during, and after seeing them. What does their energy feel like? What words come out of their words? What kind of thoughts do they have that are passed on to you?
Energy is contagious and spreads like wide fire. If you truly want to remove the negative energy in your life, then you have to remove the negative people. You have to be willing to step away from the negative energy and giving into the pity parties (and stop throwing them too). You have to take personal responsibility and accountability for your life and how it turns out.
- SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
At first, it’s going to be really hard to set these boundaries for yourself. But imagine you were listening to someone complain about their situation and you didn’t have such a great attitude yourself, you may find yourself still listening to them 4 hours later. I’m not saying people shouldn’t express themselves and how they feel, but at some point, you have to focus on finding a solution and then acting on it.
When we don’t set healthy boundaries for ourselves, it’s like we’re just letting anyone and anything in. Imagine if you just left your door unlocked and wide open – anyone could come in, use your things without your permission and leave their unwarranted presence there too. Don’t just leave the door wide open.
- HAVE AN ACTION PLAN WHEN THINGS GO ASTRAY.
If this is all brand new to you, you may find yourself falling off the wagon a few times. First, know that it’s okay. Breathe. Let compassion and love flow into your life. Know that this isn’t something that happens overnight. Give yourself time to get better – lots of time and a whole lotta love.
Set a daily self-care routine for yourself and build on it. For me, that’s currently having a daily gratitude writing practice. Whenever I’m feeling off, I practice my attitude of gratitude. Some other self-care ideas: meditate, exercise, dance, hot baths, read, etc.
- FILL YOUR LIFE WITH POSITIVITY AND JOY.
What makes you happy? Make sure to schedule fun activities and self-care time into your life. We have to intentionally create space for good things to happen in our life. Take a moment to acknowledge all the good things that are happening right now, because there’s a lot of it.
Once you start making it a habit, you start to notice more good things that you’ve never seen before. Remember when I said energy is contagious? That goes for positive energy too. If you choose to see the good things in life, you’ll start to look for more. We look for evidence for the stories we want to be true. If you genuinely believe that good things will happen to you, then that’s what you’ll attract.
Take care of yourself – the mind, body, soul, and heart. All of it, wholeheartedly. Become more self-aware of your surroundings, yourself, and others.
Acknowledge that your life is your responsibility and take personal accountability for it. Instead of throwing yourself a pity party the next time something doesn’t work out or finding someone to complain to, work on finding a solution instead and take action.