By Eloke-Young Splendor
In these contemporary times, when women are also eager to contribute their quota to the financial needs in a home; the desire to balance work and family life becomes a highly demanding task. Every working mum struggling to make time for her kids must first place in mind that what is most important is, “quality time” and not just “quantity time”.
Every great mum needs to recognize that time is one of the greatest gifts that should be given to kids as it contributes to creating tight bonds. As a career mum, setting out to work for the day at 6 am and returning at 11 pm leaves you with little or no time for your kids. Nevertheless, smart moms have found smart ways to make out time from their busy schedule for their kids.
One day, while I was having a discussion with a friend who works as a class teacher, she said to me “Clair, my pupils act like mum-starved children”. This got me wondering whether there are kids whose mothers get so busy with their careers and businesses that they ignore the needs of their children; thereby leaving these children with little or no experience of motherly love and care.
Workaholic mums stay at their often high pressured jobs for long hours, leaving other caretakers for their kids. Kids experience a deep feeling of excitement and security when they know they have mothers who are willing to create sufficient time for their needs.
Here are some ways to show you are not a workaholic mum:-
- Make Free Week-Ends Mandatory: As a working mum weekdays might get so busy and keep you much more engrossed on work but creating free weekends can help you allocate activities that make spending more time with your kids easy. In order to avoid being a workaholic mom, you must try as much as possible to accomplish all office or job-related task before the weekends. It takes a lot of discipline to make free week-ends mandatory but mothers who desire to bond with their children, try their best to take up this painstaking task. Making Free week-ends mandatory will help you create time for activities such as games, dinner dates and even workouts with kids.
- Make Your Kids Look Forward to Mum’s Home-Coming Each Day: As a mother, the nature of your job might be so demanding that it requires you to come home so late every day but there are ways through which you can be assured that your 5 years old will stay awake waiting until mum gets back. Adopting habits like telling your kids bedtime stories every night or simply coming home every day with small gift packages can make them look forward to your daily homecoming. Make your little baby understand that surprise packages are not just associated with Santa Clause alone. Make her see you each day worth it, by initiating actions that continually make your child look forward to mum’s home-coming.
- Always know that It is your Job To Listen: After a whole day’s work it is very okay to feel tired and just want to crash, but your baby who sees mum as a gist partner will definitely not let tales about the day pass. At this stage, mum has to place the attention need of her child as a priority. Workaholic mothers never realize it is their job to listen to their children especially after they have been apart for almost all day long. In order not to be termed a workaholic mum, you must be ready to quit your comfort after a long day’s job and engage in a conversation with your child. Don’t only respond with a nod but also ask relevant questions and make comments; as this will let the child know that mum is so interested in the happenings of her life. This might cause a lot of stress but just know that the endpoint is to engage in a conversation that keeps your child aware of the fact that work cannot completely erase mummy’s attention and love for her. You can keep the conversation as short as possible or even talk as you have dinner.
- Stay Connected During The Day: Technology has done a nice job in bridging the gap of distance between people and it is very advisable for family members and loved ones to take full advantages of the provision made through the various technological advancements. Mothers who are so busy working all through the day can make outbreak periods to have video calls or phone calls with their children. Also before leaving for work in the morning, you can drop a note or a voice note wishing them a great day and assuring them of how much you love them. For moms with younger kids, consider recording yourself talking or singing on a video or record your voice reading along to a children’s book. If you’re going to miss or be late to an older child’s event, give her something special in the morning, like a good-luck charm or a personal note. Also, consider options for filming the event so you can watch it later and not miss a moment. You can also find ways to ensure your kids see your face almost all through the day. This can be achieved by hanging your pictures and that of your spouse in her room. You can also give her small printed photos which she can have all day. Finding ways to create memories of yourself all-around your child can help you stay connected during the day.
Trying not to be a workaholic mum can be a very difficult task but as mothers, it is vital not to let your job create a gap between you and your child.
It is possible to be a career woman as well as the perfect, loving mum.
These tips will surely help all hardworking moms out there to find the mum-work balance.