Growing up as a teenager many of my friends had issues with the subject I am about to write on. This topic is of utmost importance considering the fact that it addresses a very crucial aspect of teenage-hood; a point where every teenager ought to be guided. This, however, does not seem to be the case as both parents and teens shy away from discussing relationship startups as I would like to call them.
Once a child gets to a certain age, thinks become different. He/she experiences changes in physical appearance, raging hormones, emotional affinities and so on. All of these things come all at once and may be very confusing. As if that is not enough worry, they discover that they become attracted to the opposite sex. For a teenage girl, this is very important because it can either make or mar her self-esteem.
Almost all teenagers have no idea of what to do when caught in this web. They can’t tell how their parents will react to such news, and in most cases, they feel they have no one to talk to. It is important for parents to realize that having a male friend early in life is not a taboo. The main thing is to teach your daughter how to nurture such a friendship in the most acceptable way possible, and not forgetting other aspects of her life that are equally important.
Intimacy brings along with it, bond, likeness, faithfulness, and sometimes true love. When a young girl gets a new female friend and they spend almost their time together they grow to love themselves like sisters, this also happens when they become close to the opposite sex. In this case, however, there is the possibility of misguided judgment which may lead to heartbreak and other adverse ripple effects.
With proper guardiance, every teenage girl will know how best to manage emotions, how best to guide her heart and her thoughts, and how best to nurture a prospective relationship to an expected end.
How can this be done? “Awareness”, help the girl-child to know the nitty-gritty of this norm and this can be effectively done when their parents especially their mothers become involved in the social-life of the young child.
The role of a mother is all too important in the life of a girl-child, especially at the teenage stage.
Your role as a mother
You are to guide her and not scare her: many mothers often miss this point, instead of showing the child the right path they instill fear in them by telling them things that are unrealistic. This is very wrong because when they find out the truth, they will never believe anything you say and will begin to hide their social lives from you.
Educate her don’t cheat her: many mothers cheat their daughters by keeping them away from many truths which they end up learning outside the home. Also, you have to be careful about the things you introduce to them, dp proper research to be abreast with current occurrences so that you can relate appropriately.
Encourage her don’t judge her: the teenage stage is filled with too many ups and downs, so you don’t have to be their antagonist because they are already faced with mostly emotional troubles. Many teenagers end up developing mood swings and low self-esteem because no one ever noticed their emotional challenges. Some even come out of their comfort zones to share their burden but many parents shut them out by negative reactions.
What they need to know:
- Girls need to know that it is normal to develop feelings for a close male friend: Feelings point to the fact that you care about a person. As a parent helping the child manage this situation is important. If you have a healthy relationship with your child, she should be able to tell what she feels for any guy. Even if she is not able to tell you, your relationship with her helps to detect such situations. In many cases some girls many not know when they like a guy until they start getting jealous. But you can notice it and point it out to them, and also guide them through the process.
As a mother don’t stop at discussion be keen on helping the child do it right. Do not be careless about the decisions they make, care about their decisions and work with them to achieve it.
- Girls must know that feelings do not change who they are: for some teenagers, having discovered that they are beginning to develop feelings for their male friends, they decide to end the relationship because they are scared or not ready for a romantic relationship. As a parent, you must help her know that that is not the best of reactions. Getting to know the company your daughter keeps will also enable you to render proper advice where necessary.
- Girls must realize that they can be hurt: many girls grow up in an environment where they were immensely loved and as a result, they never think that the outside world holds both negative and positive scenes. When a teenage girl experiences heartbreak for the first time it changes her perception of life.
Parents can help to prevent such result with proper education. Having said that, be careful not to put fear in them but rather let them know that mistakes and failures are a part of life which makes people strong and better.
Mothers must learn to talk with their girls, they must become team mates with their female children. Mother must go the extra miles to save their children from mistakes, this is one way to make the world a better place because the results are passed on from generations to generations.