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Trust is an important part of any relationship. It represents your belief in someone’s good sense, ability or honesty. As your daughter gets older and starts becoming more independent, it can be difficult to find the balance between a teenager’s need for independence and privacy, and your need to know what’s happening to keep them safe. Find out how you can stay involved in your child’s life through building a trusting relationship.

Here are some tips from parents reach.com, that could help parents understand why building trust is so important; work on how to avoid your child breaking your trust; and learn how to develop mutual trust with her.

Why is building trust with your teenager important?

Your child needs your trust to help them in their transition through to adulthood. However, this trust needs to be mutual. You and your child need to meet in the middle and develop a healthy way to trust in each other and each of your decisions. Remember that the more this mutual trust is tested, the longer it will take to get to a place where you are both confident you can trust each other. A relationship without trust leads to second-guessing and questioning each other’s honesty. When your child was young they probably trusted you unequivocally, as the person that kept them safe.

However, as children grow up and become more independent, they start to notice and question more. It’s around this time that your child may notice whether you do what you say you will do, which is a key factor in building trust. As a parent, you can’t demand trust. It’s a gradual process that requires mutual commitment and it will inevitably strengthen your relationship. It will also set your child up to develop healthy relationships in the future. It’s worth noting that teenagers are going through an intensely private time in their lives. Personal space becomes very important to them, so the desire for privacy doesn’t always mean untrustworthy activity is taking place. It’s important to keep that in mind.

Benefits of building trust with your teenager. By building a trusting relationship with your teenager, you’re likely see many benefits, including:

Your teenager feeling open and comfortable to talk to you about difficult things – Parents always dream of having a close relationship with their daughter, where she feels free and comfortable enough to share important aspects of her life with them.

Your teenager demonstrating positive, trustworthy behaviours in other aspects of their life, setting them up for positive relationships into adulthood. – Every parent looks forward to their daughter evolving into a responsible and balanced adult.

Building a relationship with your teenager that goes beyond a parent-child disciplinary relationship, and strengthening your bond for years to come. – You want to be her confidant, the first person she thinks about when she needs to share an important aspect of her life with someone.

What if my child breaches my trust?

Breaches of trust are to be expected, especially as your child starts to push boundaries to test their independence. Depending on the impact of their actions you should work with them to decide on appropriate consequences, which could range from a simple chat about your expectations, through to removal of privileges while they show that they can rebuild trust.  Remember that as a parent, you’re the most important role model in your child’s life, and it’s vital that you demonstrate honesty and trustworthiness, in order to teach your child how you expect them to behave.

Talk to them about the importance of honesty and trust, but also make sure it’s reflected in your actions. If your child repeatedly breaks your trust without showing any signs of remorse, or if they show self-destructive behaviours, it might be time to seek help from a professional, such as a counsellor or psychologist, as this could indicate other underlying issues. Consider connecting with other parents in your community to reliably stay informed about your child’s activities and friends.

You may be wondering who a scary mom is, and what she looks like; I have wondered the same thing too, that was until I heard a friend say her mom is the scariest person she had ever met. That statement felt like a blow to my chin as I imagined how it felt to have a scary mom. Few hours with Lucy made me deduce the theory that more smart teenage girls are made out of scary moms since they have to devise ways to navigate through their fears. Some of the most priceless gifts every teenage girl seeks from parents especially their mothers, is freedom and trust.

Trusting your teenage daughters is a great way to let them know you understand that they are grown-up and are entitled to a mind of their own. The first time I heard this Phrase, “Love to destruction” the only picture that came to my mind was the relationship some mothers have with their teens.  Sometimes mothers are left in the dilemma of raising their teenage children with the mirror of their own past childhood experiences and these experiences suddenly become the basis for the rules and regulations that guide these children. These rules often create the first gap experienced by parents and their teenagers. This, therefore, becomes a destructive love since it is fiercely guarded by fears.  No teenager wants to relate with a scary mom and as a result, they always watch out for the alarm that indicates you have become one. Since every mother wants to be her daughter’s heroine and best friend then she must watch out for those red signals that can portray her as a scary mom as well as keep their daughters away from them forever.    

Here are 6 signals that show your teenage daughter you are a scary mom: –

  1. Trying to be a Teen: Often times mothers like to act like teens hoping that this will help them get closer to their teenage daughters, but they often forget that opposites attract. Your teen daughters expect you to be the parent and not trying to act like there is a competition to win their hearts. Trying to dress like them, involve in their private discussions with friends or even use slangs that are peculiar to their peers can sometimes become annoying. It is definitely not abnormal to admire their lifestyle but trying to fit into their shoes makes it tight, thereby portraying you as a stalker. Teenage daughters feel embarrassed when mothers try to ask too many questions when they are having discussions with their friends.  The moment you start pushing hard to become a teen, you stop being their loving mom and instead become a scary mom.

 

  1. Playing the Guilt Card: Scary mothers always love to prove to their daughters that they are wrong. They derive so much pleasure in seeing their teenage daughters depressed over a wrong decision they have taken because they think it might help them turn a new leaf, so they do their best to give the young girl more than a thousand reasons why she should be ashamed for taking that wrong step. As a mother playing the guilt card can keep your daughter away from you thereby, leaving her in a position where she always wants to clean up her mess before approaching you. 
  2. Attempting to be the middle woman: Mothers must realize that teenage girls are not requesting for a peacemaker when they tell their moms about their disagreements with friends. Often times, young girls become very emotional over the disagreements they have with their peers and sharing it with someone especially their mothers become the best way to ease the hurt. It is therefore advisable that, mothers become comfortable to just have a girl talk with their daughters without trying to act as advocates for them. Mums must learn that most times all the young girl needs is that you lend her your ears and advise; then call it a day. Let them settle their disputes themselves and quit attempting to be the middle woman. 
  3. Displaying the skills of a Secret Agent: Every great relationship thrives in respecting the privacy of partners involved. Always know that your teenage daughter is entitled to her secrets so let her be. Of course, it is very necessary to offer advice but being a nosey mum can be so annoying to teenage daughters, so watch it and know when to draw the line. Sneaking on her calls, chats, and messages can be very uncomfortable and pestering. It proves to them that you don’t trust their sanity and behavior. Rather than doing this build a strong mutual trust amongst both party and give her the strong reason to let you into her life. Always remember you are her mom and not a secret agent or a spy.  When you begin to display the skills of a secret agent, your little teenage daughter will definitely perceive you as a scary mom. 

  1. Misunderstanding her self-conscious Acts: Looking back at my teen days, I can still recall how displeased I felt whenever my mom laughed at my carriage while am out with my friends. She will always say to me “Cece why do you have to cross your legs that way?” Scary Moms never accept the fact that their teenage daughters just have to be self-conscious around their friends. Whenever they in the midst of their peers expect them to talk differently, laugh differently, eat differently, walk differently and even respond differently to you. A popular saying goes that when you are in Rome, you behave like the Romans so let them behave like teenagers when they are with tens. A scary mom is never comfortable with seeing different sides of her little thirteen-year-old damsel. You just have to admit the fact that it’s normal whenever they are in the midst of peers. Interpreting their self-conscious acts as pretense, timidity, or even Low self-esteem can be very scary. 

Refusing a conversation and always seeking a lecture: Never forget that one of the major differences between a conversation and a lecture is that the former involves a dialogue while the latter involves a monologue.  It is true that mothers are very knowledgeable. They have acquired countless theoretical and practical knowledge, and of course, it is their uttermost desire is to pass down this knowledge to their children especially teenage girls but this must be done with discretion. Teenage daughters especially learn more from conversations, not lectures. Remember no matter how knowledgeable you are as a mother, times and seasons have changed. Your examples thoughts and illustrations might not completely fit into your teen daughter’s real-life experiences. Learn to rather have a conversation instead of a lecture as this will help your little teenage daughter open up more to you. Use less of the word “Listen to me” and use the word “let’s see it this way”, this, of course, involves her in the thinking process and helps her feel more relevant. Remember young ladies tend to read deeper meaning into your words than the literal word said. Scary Moms hardly involve in conversations, they rather give a lecture and remember even your teenage daughter has a voice and needs her questions to be answered.

Teenage daughters are fun to have but it’s a more interesting journey if mothers make themselves available as they should, consciously noting the boundaries and making sure they do not cross the lines as well.

You may love to pause and evaluate yourself: “Am I a scary mom?”

By Splendor Eloke – Young

Physical intimacy remains a tricky issue to discuss when you have a teenage daughter. Most times, parents and guardians wait until something prompts them to discuss intimacy. This should not be the case, we often wonder, what is the appropriate age to start discussing this topic with our daughter? Specialists say it is never too early to start the discussion, I say do not wait until it is too late.

While doing my daily rounds, I came across this question on Troubleshooter, an advice column that appears in the Japan News, and I felt it would be right to share this with parents, who may have been in this situation or find themselves edging towards the same.

The question reads: ‘I saw my teenage daughter in bed with her boyfriend, what should I do?’

I’m a company employee in my 40s with a daughter who’s a first-year student at a college-oriented high school. I saw her in her room in bed with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend is in the same class as her, and they’ve been dating for half a year. He comes to our house several times a month.

When I happened to be passing by her bedroom, the door wasn’t completely closed so I saw the two of them through the gap. It was all so sudden that I didn’t know what to do, so I pretended like I hadn’t seen anything. I haven’t told my wife about it.

He is an honor student with top marks in his year, and he hopes to become a doctor. He always greets us properly and lives with his mother since his father died. Seeing him work so hard in such a situation reminds me of myself in my younger days, and I really want to support such a good kid. That is precisely why I am so confused about what to do.

Should I tell my daughter and wife what I witnessed? -R

And here is the response, from Masami Ohinata, a professor of developmental psychology at Keisen University’s graduate school in Tokyo.

Dear Mr. R:

I’m sure what you saw would’ve been a shock for any father of a daughter.

Physical intimacy is not something to find embarrassing, and it is a fundamental part of living, but it’s hard for parents to speak frankly to their children about something like this.

However, I think in this case you need to talk to the two teenagers as soon as possible. I know that your daughter and this boy are wonderful kids, but their ability to make sound decisions is still immature, and they are in adolescence where their interest in physical intimacy is still budding.

Why not start off by telling them you hope they will carefully cultivate their relationship? Tell them calmly but firmly that even though a teenage girl and boy might have intimacy if they’re in the same room with the door closed, it’s only natural for a father to worry about his daughter and the future of her and her boyfriend.

If you condemn them and keep an overly watchful eye on them, they will probably just hide what they’re doing even more and see each other outside your home. Instead, I think you should tell them that you welcome them into your home and hope to have some nice conversations over tea.

I think if you talk to them like this, this boy without a father may see you as a possible replacement father figure in his life. -Masami Ohinata, professor

We should all learn from this, if you have a teenage daughter or ward, whom you have trusted enough to allow visits from her boyfriends, then you should trust them enough to engage them in a discussion about intimacy issues and its effects.

Growing up with several aunts, I had my fair share of questions. My mum was super busy, so I was lucky to be surrounded by these great ladies who helped me through many awkward moments. Every teenage girl has a few questions brewing in her mind. It could be about body changes during puberty, intimacy, peer pressure, pimples, fashion, homework or boys.

There is no clear-cut answers to some of the questions that may arise; however, we encourage parents and guardians to have enough information to help their ward through these moments. This will also help you raise a well balanced teenager.

Kaz Cooke is an Australian author, cartoonist, and broadcaster, who has written several bestselling advice books for girls and women. In this edition, we are poised to learn from her wealth of experience as she reveals essential information you should give your daughter to help you both survive.

  • The truth about spots

Tell your daughter that spots or blackheads are not caused by these things: greasy food; not exfoliating; not washing enough or properly; not drinking enough water; germs on the skin; chocolate; bad karma.

Spots and blackheads are caused by blockages caused by sebum, which you often have much more of when you’re a teenager, because of certain hormone misbehavior. Sebum blocks the pores from underneath, and then bacteria or inflammation causes the spot.

Good spot creams take a few weeks to work because they stop new ones from forming, so she has to be patient. She should ask her doctor or pharmacist about which ones might work for her.

  • Body changes are natural

Don’t say to your daughter: “you’re getting fat”, “that’s a worry, you’ve gone up a size”, or “you can’t fit into that uniform anymore”. She is supposed to be growing and going up sizes in her teenage years – her skeleton doubles in size during these years, for a start.

Always say clothes are too small – don’t make it seem that she is too big. Frame any comment about bodies in terms of health and what she can do with her body (run, play sport, dance, and walk up stairs without puffing.) Tell her sizes are all mixed up depending on the brand. If you’re a woman, explain that in your wardrobe you have different label sizes on your clothes but they all fit you.

Talk with your girl about things she can say when somebody comments on her body shape and size or is mean and insulting to her. Responses could include: “Go away, you’re boring me”; “I’m the right shape for me”; “Mind your own body image”; “Oh, get a grip”; “Who made you the Body Police?”; “Don’t worry about me changing my size – can you change your attitude?”

Bullies, and even siblings and other relatives, will often use mean words like “fat” or draw attention to new breasts and other changes. Girls who filled in the survey for my book, Girl Stuff, told me they could remember, even years later, the comment that set them on the road to an eating disorder.

  • Alcohol should be taken seriously

New research shows that girls who are given alcohol before the age of 18 by their parents are more likely to develop a drinking problem. Explain to her that alcohol has a stronger effect on the teenage brain because her brain is still forming properly. This doesn’t make her more “stupid” than adults (after all, many grown-ups with “finished” brains make bad decisions); it just means she needs to be smarter than the people who don’t realize that their binge drinking could lead to embarrassment and, in severe cases, brain damage.

So many girls told me (even though I didn’t even ask this question) that they regretted their first sexual experience because it happened when they were drunk and out of control, and instead of being a moving experience they chose to have, it was a horrible experience that they can’t even remember properly. If you possibly can, make sure you pick up your daughter from parties and other events so you can assess her state. Lots of girls sleep at their friends’ place where the supervision may not be the same as at home.

  • Talk openly about family problems

If you’re in a family that is separating, it can be a turbulent time in which a teenager’s questions and feelings are accidentally overlooked. I consulted a few experts about the ways families can keep up communication, and there are also some useful websites. Teens can try sites such as divorceaid.co.uk (click on teens) and itsnotyourfault.org.

  • It is OK to say no to intimacy

Have a talk with your daughter that allows the possibility that she has gone further than she wanted to in terms of intimacy. Reassure her that she can always “go backward”. There are lots of things she can do and say to make herself feel better about this. Make her understand that she still gets to say no to everything she wants to even though she may have said yes in the past, or have been pressured into something.

Be aware that if your teenager is going out with an older partner, the older he is, the more likely he will want intimacy, expect it, and even have picked up a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Obviously, you don’t want to paint him as a sex-crazed predator, as this may make her more protective of him. Some parents will immediately forbid contact, while others will urge the use of condoms.

  • There’s nothing wrong with body hair

Though your daughter will hear a lot about needing to take off all her body hair, from magazines, websites and friends, you can help counter this. Explain that it’s partly because companies that sell hair removal products spend millions on advertisements and influence magazine and website editors to say it’s a good idea. One product in the USA is aimed at 10- to 13-year-olds.

You can let her know that even though people talk about it, only a minority of girls and women remove all their pubic hair. Some of the possible problems she can expect to get if she does remove her pubic hair include: pain from waxing; cuts from shaving; sore rashes and other skin conditions; uncomfortable itching as it grows back; ingrown hairs; spending too much money as she can’t really do it herself in such an awkward place; the embarrassment of a stranger looking at her private parts up close; and a weird bald look that makes her seem like a little girl.

  • Helping others will help you

One of the great things about girls is they’re often keen to do charity or other community work. See if there’s an organization that you can join together or one that she can be involved in with her friends. This could be environmental or political, or something to work towards as a gap year later on. It’s a cliché but it’s true: busy people are less likely to get into trouble. It also means there’s something you can praise her for, which she will really appreciate.

  • Life doesn’t always go to plan

Make sure your daughter knows that you understand the occasional necessity for a Plan B, C, or even further down the alphabet. If she doesn’t pass the exam or doesn’t make the team, help her with backup ideas that make life seem like a series of choices rather than just a matter of “making it” or “failing”. Tell her life is all about choices and changes.

  • How to manage money

Talk to her about the tricks that advertisers and shops use to pretend she’s getting a bargain or must have an “essential item”. When she’s old enough, show her the household budget so she knows how much it can cost for food, rent and so on. She’ll understand why you keep banging on about budgeting.

  • There are smart ways to stay safe

When you talk to her about safety – on the computer, on the street, on public transport or out and about at parties or clubs – frame it in a way that praises her for being smart enough to outwit potential dangers and problems. Don’t just give her a set of rules. Role play will help her know what to say or do in real situations.

Sometimes girls will put themselves in danger rather than risk embarrassment – offer to be the “bad guy”, and have a code. For example, if she rings you while with a group of friends and says don’t be mad, she’ll feed the cat when she gets home, it secretly means she needs you to come and get her straight away. You can be the “mean parent” who insists it was your idea, and she gets to save face.

Are you going through that phase when you are just so curious about your teenage daughter, and you really need to know what she’s been up to?

Don’t beat yourself up; we all go through that phase. Many parents find it quite uncomfortable trying to find out more when she is just not letting up; should I spy on her, bug her phone, or ground her? It’s a real dilemma, trust me, you are not alone. It’s a normal phase you pass through when your baby is growing up.

We all handle this phase in different ways, I stumbled upon Circle of Moms, while trying to figure out how other Moms handle this, and here’s what some Moms think when the question was posed; should you snoop on your teen?

Jennifer Shallow W – I put the desktop shark on my 17 yr old cell, after reading some alarming things on FB, it has a GPS also and you can see messages. I don’t care if it seems like an invasion of privacy but teens today think they are adults and are not equipped emotionally for the things they are doing!

Mary Rellinger – I do not snoop or spy. However, as a parent, I always want to be “in the know” as to what my children are doing or where they are. If I suspect something is not right or that they are lying to me… then I may have to do some detective work.

Casey Ratledge – Oh yes I will, Proverbs 31 says a wise woman knows what goes on in her household! (A verse from the bible)

Francene Alba – As a parent, I am out for the best interest of my 15 yr old. I don’t view snooping as a sign of lack of trust. I don’t use snooping as a tool to confront issues that I may disagree with, but rather use it to gather info to use for my peace of mind that my child is ok, and dealing with common teen issues.

Nedra Webster – Every parent should go through their child’s possessions. You can sit around and wait for a teenager to tell you there’s a problem if you want, but God will be here before that happens. I went through backpacks, pockets, phones, closets, drawers and the car (once he started driving). Till this day, my son will tell his friends, he never underestimates my ability to find out things.

And Julie Rasac says – If my daughter ever gave me a reason to snoop on her I would. But she has never given her dad or I a reason to distrust her judgment.

Now you can see a lot of parents feel safer knowing what their teen has been up to.

Let’s take a look at what some specialists say; Dr. Michele Borba, Educational Psychologist and best-selling author says; When it comes to teens, trust is a two-way street that has changed over the last decade or so with the arrival of apps and devices that help parents track their teen’s social media accounts, text messages and even driving habits. But while it may feel like spying to read another person’s email or track their whereabouts, it’s not spying when your teen knows she’s being monitored. “Safety is always the top priority when it comes to parenting,”

Dr. Borba shares some tips on how to monitor your teen and not feel like its snooping.

  1. Hands – on parenting lessens risky behavior. If there’s one thing kids need from us, it’s for us to be present. Hands-on parenting means monitoring behavior, knowing your kids’ friends, setting clear rules and not being afraid to say no. “Study after study proves that the best protective action you can take as a parent is to keep the lines of communication open with your teens”.

  2. Involve them from the start. “Tell them you will monitor, but don’t tell them when or how often you’re monitoring. Many parents every once in a while will say, ‘Turn in your cell phone, and let’s make sure you’re abiding by the rules of the house,’ The child has to build your trust, and when they can demonstrate responsibility, then you gradually let them have more and more responsibilities and freedom.

  3. Learn their language. Parents need to know teen shorthand and acronyms so they can understand what they’re reading. For example, MOS means mom over shoulder, KPC means keeping parents clueless, LMIRL means let’s meet in real life and GAP means got a picture. Google “texting abbreviations” or “online language” and you’ll find cheat sheets to help you.

  4. Set rules for sharing. Teach kids that there are no “take-backs” when it comes to the internet, and they should think about what they post as being live for everyone to see forever — including Grandma. Teens should not share personal information, such as full name, birthday, address, social security number etc. as this makes them easier to locate. If you find they break these basic safety rules when you’re monitoring, make sure there’s a consequence.

  5. Take advantage of tools and apps. Parental controls, internet service providers, computer software and various apps can monitor texts and emails, block visits to inappropriate sites (hate sites, pornographic sites) and email you reports of their online activity, though tech-savvy teens can figure out how to get around such things, that’s why they should be in the know. Be honest and let them know you’ve installed software. “Just don’t divulge what kind”.

  6. Set curfews, and definitely wait up. “Peer pressure is huge. Teens need safety nets. There is no better excuse than for a kid to be able to use than, ‘Mom will ground me for life if I don’t get home.’ Do tell your teen that he or she has your full permission to always use you as an excuse”.

  7. Be their safety net. You may have seen a recent viral story about a dad who gave his teen son a way to safely get out of social situations when he’s uncomfortable. Sometimes teens feel they can’t call or text for help because other kids will hear or see. So this duo set up an escape system where if the teen texted the father an “X,” the father would drop everything to come pick him up, wherever he was, no questions asked. Dr. Borba says it’s an excellent system, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s an X or an ABC, the catch is; you have to honor the “no questions asked” part. She has heard from kids who’ve tried this emergency escape plan only to get the third-degree from a parent later on, and they never used it again.

Be their safety net and you may just find that they won’t need the monitoring.

By Boma Benjy Iwuoha

By: Mwila Mwila
Parents may not sometimes approve of the dressing styles that the teenage girls are following but in most cases, it’s just a lack of a good memory in most of us Parents, especially Mothers, on what a confusing stage Teenage hood can be, especially when it comes to individual style and fashion taste.  Teenagers usually experiment with different elements with regards to clothing and try to find their unique sense of style.  If you have a teen girl at home, you’ve probably already seen her fretting over what to wear and how to style her look, please allow them, a little experiment would do no harm. And besides, it’s just another phase in growing up, which eventually fades.

Instead of trying to have them fit in with your preferred and imagined kind of peer dress code, as most parents to Teenagers do,  you have to remember that, it’s not just about ‘’dress code,’’ at this stage, it’s rather more about self-discovery.  It would be helpful if you help them discover and become an individual they are seeking to become by creating their own sense of style and that way you won’t have to fight over ‘’dress code’’ all the time.

You also have to understand that age doesn’t matter when it comes to fashion and style sense, it is inherent, we are born with it, complementing our temperaments and in many cases, this can be a Gift that gets out to dress the Globe as many Fashion Designers and Fashion Icons out there. Despite being only teenagers, most Teenage girl’s sense of style is fashion-forward and tasteful, creating global trends, in our social media age, mostly, age-appropriate but edgy, and it’s interesting that they manage to keep their style feminine with a little flair and by adding their own spin on, they go on to create something really unique and out of the box for themselves. Amazing!

It’s important that as Parents we don’t use their age to stop them from exploring their fashion sense. As a mom, let your teen girl explore and enjoy the world of fashion, even as you guide her through some interesting ideas that will help her create her own individual fashion identity and win in life.

So Mom here’s your chance to update your girl with some interesting and very ‘it’ fashion styles that are all the rage right now and find another angle to get along from with your Teenage girl. Here is a list of fashion ideas for teens that will let your teen girl find her own style and be comfortable with it. Firstly, never forget to teach them from a very tender age, to always remember, one doesn’t have to wear anything heavy, labels or expensive to show off a dressing sense. Style is all about being comfortable with your discovered individual fashion sense. After all teenage years is personal worth and sense of style discovery period, and it is allowed to flaunt yourself in various styles until you find what you are actually comfortable in. And at this age, most trends speak about the colours. Vibrant and pastel colours are the main colours at this age. Then floral prints, funky and quirky designs are a great way to look stylish also.

Growing up as a teenager many of my friends had issues with the subject I am about to write on. This topic is of utmost importance considering the fact that it addresses a very crucial aspect of teenage-hood; a point where every teenager ought to be guided. This, however, does not seem to be the case as both parents and teens shy away from discussing relationship startups as I would like to call them.

Once a child gets to a certain age, thinks become different. He/she experiences changes in physical appearance, raging hormones, emotional affinities and so on. All of these things come all at once and may be very confusing. As if that is not enough worry, they discover that they become attracted to the opposite sex. For a teenage girl, this is very important because it can either make or mar her self-esteem.

Almost all teenagers have no idea of what to do when caught in this web. They can’t tell how their parents will react to such news, and in most cases, they feel they have no one to talk to. It is important for parents to realize that having a male friend early in life is not a taboo. The main thing is to teach your daughter how to nurture such a friendship in the most acceptable way possible, and not forgetting other aspects of her life that are equally important.

Intimacy brings along with it, bond, likeness, faithfulness, and sometimes true love. When a young girl gets a new female friend and they spend almost their time together they grow to love themselves like sisters, this also happens when they become close to the opposite sex. In this case, however, there is the possibility of misguided judgment which may lead to heartbreak and other adverse ripple effects.

With proper guardiance, every teenage girl will know how best to manage emotions, how best to guide her heart and her thoughts, and how best to nurture a prospective relationship to an expected end.

How can this be done? “Awareness”, help the girl-child to know the nitty-gritty of this norm and this can be effectively done when their parents especially their mothers become involved in the social-life of the young child.

The role of a mother is all too important in the life of a girl-child, especially at the teenage stage.

 

Your role as a mother

 

You are to guide her and not scare her: many mothers often miss this point, instead of showing the child the right path they instill fear in them by telling them things that are unrealistic. This is very wrong because when they find out the truth, they will never believe anything you say and will begin to hide their social lives from you.

Educate her don’t cheat her: many mothers cheat their daughters by keeping them away from many truths which they end up learning outside the home. Also, you have to be careful about the things you introduce to them, dp proper research to be abreast with current occurrences so that you can relate appropriately.

Encourage her don’t judge her: the teenage stage is filled with too many ups and downs, so you don’t have to be their antagonist because they are already faced with mostly emotional troubles. Many teenagers end up developing mood swings and low self-esteem because no one ever noticed their emotional challenges. Some even come out of their comfort zones to share their burden but many parents shut them out by negative reactions.

What they need to know:

  1. Girls need to know that it is normal to develop feelings for a close male friend: Feelings point to the fact that you care about a person. As a parent helping the child manage this situation is important. If you have a healthy relationship with your child, she should be able to tell what she feels for any guy. Even if she is not able to tell you, your relationship with her helps to detect such situations. In many cases some girls many not know when they like a guy until they start getting jealous. But you can notice it and point it out to them, and also guide them through the process.

As a mother don’t stop at discussion be keen on helping the child do it right. Do not be careless about the decisions they make, care about their decisions and work with them to achieve it.

  1. Girls must know that feelings do not change who they are: for some teenagers, having discovered that they are beginning to develop feelings for their male friends, they decide to end the relationship because they are scared or not ready for a romantic relationship. As a parent, you must help her know that that is not the best of reactions. Getting to know the company your daughter keeps will also enable you to render proper advice where necessary.
  2. Girls must realize that they can be hurt: many girls grow up in an environment where they were immensely loved and as a result, they never think that the outside world holds both negative and positive scenes. When a teenage girl experiences heartbreak for the first time it changes her perception of life.

Parents can help to prevent such result with proper education. Having said that, be careful not to put fear in them but rather let them know that mistakes and failures are a part of life which makes people strong and better.

Mothers must learn to talk with their girls, they must become team mates with their female children. Mother must go the extra miles to save their children from mistakes, this is one way to make the world a better place because the results are passed on from generations to generations.