By Miracle Nwankwo
I thought I would be the first bride-to-be to make history with planning a stress-free wedding, but as my big day inches closer, I have had to swallow the bitter truth that my wedding is not going to be all about me, and it involves a lot of things and people.
Let’s be real, planning a wedding can be extremely stressful and can take a toll on your relationship if you are not mindful. No matter how much we thought it we would be different, and how much we had planned on keeping it cool and simple, the reality often turns out poles apart.
No bride wants to go into their wedding day feeling frustrated with their partner. I don’t even want to plan a successful wedding day and then lose the bond and friendship I have built in years. It’s true that we all want to have a beautiful and memorable wedding celebration but I believe it shouldn’t be at the detriment of the love and bond we share with our partners.
Therefore, it is important to invest more in keeping your relationship as happy and healthy as possible during your wedding plan processes. You may have to compromise to be on the same page with your partner, but in all, keep the communication window wide open, and keep a little perspective, this will help you get through almost any issue.
Here are seven things I have had to consider to keep a relationship strong during wedding planning:
- Keep Your Communication Window Open
This is the most important part for me because communication is the main deal in any relationship. Therefore it should not cease because you are planning a one-day event when you are about to sign a lifetime deal. Be honest and open with your partner, share your feelings with one another. Sharing is in two ways, either negative or positive. If you are feeling overwhelmed, let him know! If you are hurting, let him know too. On the other hand, ensure to give him reports over your excitement about spending the rest of your life with him and how you can’t wait to walk down the aisle. This is very important; it will do a lot to your relationship even after you have tied the knot.
- No Two Weddings Are the Same
It’s okay to have a template of how you want your wedding to be like, but one of the biggest mistakes we make is wanting to have it the exact way we saw it, knowing fully well that the people involved in your dream wedding and your reality are not the same folks. First, you are not going to marry the groom in the wedding you are trying to copy, you are a different bride, your families are different and the situation is also different. So don’t put a knife to your throat if things don’t go the way you’ve screenshot it in your mind. Learn to lose perspective and focus on what matters most.
- Focus on What Matters
Stop aiming for perfection, this is another way to lose perspective. I understand that some of us are perfectionists who want everything to go extremely well and as planned. Dear bride, you will have to swallow the bitter pill that somethings could go wrong, so if I were you I would sign up to have the best day of my life regardless of any mishap.
Unwind and relax, this is just a one-day event over a lifetime journey. So focus on what matters the most; your joy and your partner’s. If you are to make a second priority list, I would suggest; your family and the priest, your gown and his suit, the make-up artist and the photographer, you may want to add the decoration to make the memories on print beautiful, but above all guard your love and bond jealously.
The day should not be about attaining perfection for social media showoffs. It should be about the two of you acknowledging how far you have come and being able to start the next phase of your life together.
If you continue to pursue perfection you may go bunker. Remind yourself that things will go wrong, but that it won’t matter in the long run.
- Keep the Romantic Culture Alive
People say that married couples often neglect the romantic culture and event they practices while dating when family responsibilities set in. However, I believe that couples who kept their romantic practices while planning a wedding can escape that ordeal. That is why I think it is important to intentionally commit to spending more time together not for wedding plans but to enjoy each other’s company. Go to the movies, go swimming, it is also a good time to visit the motherless and helpless homes, find activities that will make you unwind and relax.
Don’t just coexist because you are planning a wedding, make the time meaningful together. This can be a breath of fresh air in the middle of your planning period.
- Pray Together
Acknowledging the help of God in building a home and starting a lifetime journey is the best way to start. It’s never late to start this culture, you can start at the stage where you are. Marriage is an institution created by God, so it has to start with God. If you already have this in mind, don’t wait until you become man and wife before you start praying together. Understand that your husband-to-be is your best friend and partner, so if best friends do almost everything together, then they should also pray together. Commit everything to God and be rest assured of success.
Happy Wedding Day!