Mums & Kids Zone

Say “Yes!” to Authoritative Parenting

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Most parents raise their kids like robots, giving their kids commands with a high expectation of immediate positive feedback. This attitude has in recent times created little or no distinction between a home and an army parade ground. This sort of parenting is ‘’Authoritarian’’. 

Authoritative parenting, unlike Authoritarian kind, involves a large focus on balance. This style of parenting involves parents having expectations for kids, but at the same time, they provide resources and emotional support which enable kids to succeed. 

Authoritative parenting to a large extent creates a win-win environment for both parents and the kids.  Considering that children are supposed to be related according to their individual temperament and psychological makeup, this form of parenting has been found to benefit children of different temperaments.

The adoption of the authoritative form of parenting leaves both the mother and her kids happy as well as satisfied. The conventional idea of just slapping rules at children is yet to produce the desired results all parents seek in parenting, hence the need for authoritative parenting.  Authoritative parents do not put up a legislative (law-making) attitude when relating to their kids rather, they put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with their children. This is achieved by explaining the reasons behind the rules. In these situations, you enforce rules and give consequences, but you also take your child’s feelings into consideration.   

Child development experts recognise authoritative parenting as the best parenting style among the four Baumrind parenting styles.

Authoritative parents are attuned, nurturing, sensitive and supportive of their children’s emotional and developmental needs. The supportive attributes displayed by these parents can be seen in their relentless efforts to be more involved in a child’s schooling by volunteering or monitoring homework.       

Most people, who do not apply the authoritative style of parenting, fear that authoritative parenting goes a long way to lower their standards for child upbringing, but this is definitely untrue. Authoritative parents still have high standards but they do not require complete compliance or blind obedience from their children. These parents are intelligent enough to use reasoning and allow give-and-take discussions instead of creating a highway of instructions and laid-down rules for kids to act out. This form of parenting is rather characterized by a great deal of parental involvement where parents walk their children through the path of adhering to these rule, thereby; making it less burdensome.

It has been observed that a large number of parents these days find it a bit difficult to achieve a balance in parenting kids. They are either between too much psychological control which signifies being an authoritarian or they are achieving too little behavioural control, thereby becoming permissive in their parenting style.  However, the concept of authoritative parenting goes a long way to balance these two extremes in parenting style.     

It might seem unbelievable to say that clashes experienced by parents and their children during parenting are highly avoidable, but this is true no matter how unbelievable it may sound. Parents-kids clashes can be totally avoided when using the authoritative parenting style as it requires parents to take a different, more moderate approach that emphasizes, showing respect for children as independent, rational beings.

Authoritative parenting does not only improve the life of a child but also goes a long way to regulate her experiences and behaviours at adulthood.  Since authoritative parents give kids respect and listen, it becomes easier for these parents to raise kids who are independent thinkers.

 In the case of disciplining a child; authoritative parents discipline kids by trying to guide and teach their kids, and modify what they expect from kids depending on the situation and a child’s individual needs.

Children who showcase empathy, and have a secure attachment with their parents, as well as the society, are direct products of authoritative parenting. Although, according to parenting experts, authoritative parenting has been heralded as the best parenting style; it is still advisable that parents adopt parenting styles that suite their child’s temperament.

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