By Eloke-Young Splendor

Great families make great societies.

Every criminal and ill-mannered citizen of a country is of course the product of a family. This therefore, emphasizes the need to have a society filled with highly knowledgeable and purpose driven parents who have given themselves to learning about what it takes to parent a 21st century Teenager.

It is impossible to see a mother who does not want to be referred to as the “best mom ever” even though in these recent times that phrase does not actually validate a woman’s skills of being the ideal model of a top-notch parent. For every single activity on the planet earth, as well as parenting too, a particular skill or even various skills are required for an individual to remain on top of her game.  

As a 21st century parent who desires to raise well-mannered teenage daughters, who will eventually grow into responsible adults, you must be able to identify the vital qualities needed for parenting.

Take a look at 5 vital things you must know about parenting a 21st Century Teenager: –

  1. The 21st century Teenager always has an Ever-Willing 24hrs Teacher So Stay Current to Remain Relevant:  It is very true that the Internet has become an ever-willing 24 hours’ teacher to both Teens and adults. It is therefore, no news that a 13 years old in this 21st century can own a tablet or a phone and trust me they are quick to surf the internet at any given time, considering the inquisitive nature that comes with being a teenager. Many times teenagers already know about their puberty signs, the risks that comes with being careless with their bodies at teen stages and even possible hormonal changes that come with growth; even before you think of beginning your own lecture. The 21st Century teenager is highly informed by the limitless social media platforms available these days, therefore as a mother whose desire is to ever remain a relevant solution provider to her children, you must keep abreast of the current trends relating to teenagers and their development as well as do everything within your power to become your daughter’s number one teacher especially when it comes to life matters. Your inability to stay current will adversely cause your inquisitive teenager to turn to her ever-willing 24hours teacher.
  2. The 21st Century Teenager Will Always Tend To Believe their Peers Over You: Last weekend I visited a childhood friend who had been so worked up over her daughter’s sudden change in eating habit. She complained bitterly of how her 14 years old will hardly want to eat any food just because she was referred to as obese by her friends in school. According to Mrs B, she had done all she could to let her know that she was just big, bold and beautiful yet her opinion seemed not to matter to the little girl, as far as she was concerned her friends knew the current trend and their opinions mattered most.  One thing you must know about the 21st Century teenage girl is that more than your approval, they also seek the approval of their peers and friends too. Proving yourself to your teenager in this 21st Century is very unnecessary seeing that no 21st century young girl wants to be known as mummy’s baby; no not at the age of 16.
  3. The Rules Do Not Come Without a Reason: One of the questions that will always remain on the lips of a 21st Century teenager is “Why?” Gone are the days when children especially teenagers; do not question the instructions and decisions of their parents; in this new era every teenager wants to know Why this, and Why that.  Children of nowadays are so inquisitive that they will always want to find out the reason behind every instruction, rule and even the reason behind the so-called Curfew. These days most teenagers if not all, do not just want to be told “do it because I said so”.  In parenting a 21st century teenager, rules must be followed with genuine reasons in order for it to be effectively carried out. The wise 21st century mum is one who will not spell out rules that are born out of imaginative and selfish reasons which are aimed at pushing the child away and restricting her freedom.
  4. Her Emotions Scream Louder Than Your Threats and Warnings: –    As parents of a teenage girl you must understand that teenage girls can respond to emotional issues in ways that seem so baffling and confusing.  A teenage girl with raging and rising hormones as well as emotions will not consider your threats and warnings before making decisions or even taking a step that is detrimental to her life.  When raising a 21st Century teenager, you must learn to take her emotions very seriously, sometimes these emotions may be voiced in meaningless words but wise parents must learn to see beyond their teenager’s words and try to decipher how they really feel and what they truly mean beyond those words. Here’s the bottom line: What your daughter broadcasts matches what she actually experiences. Really, it’s just that intense, so take her feelings seriously, regardless of how overblown they might seem knowing that, even your threats and warnings cannot shut up those emotions. Threats and warnings can create a great distance between mothers and their teenage daughters.
  5. Your Teenage Daughter Greatly Needs Your Approval: –  It is very okay to discipline your teenage daughters whenever they are wrong notwithstanding, you ought to also remember they are in dire need of your approval. Clear, well-timed messages of affirmation are vital for a young person’s sense of self-worth and confidence. In parenting a 21st- century teenager, you must be able to translate your positive feelings to her in a manner that will make a lasting difference.  A superb 21st-century mum is one who recognizes the right time to use words such as I love you, you are beautiful, you are so strong and many others. Also, you must note that these words of encouragement need to be linked to an observed act or demonstrated capacity in order to make it more believable and acceptable by your teen.

Generally, parenting in the 21st century have been likened to bed of roughly thorned roses as it requires a lot of skillfulness to navigate this stage successfully since it can also come with some level of pains too. Nevertheless, a mother who have mastered the vital needs of her teenager and is also well prepared as well as informed about the surprises that might spring up in the process; raising a teenager will suddenly become a journey in parenting she will love to explore over and over again.

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