“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.”
– Audrey Hepburn
“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.”
– Audrey Hepburn
Capes have always been synonymous with superheroes, from Batman, and Superman, to captain marvel etc., capes are believed to empower superheroes with magical wings, and the ability to fly to the rescue, and do amazing things like save the planet or destroy the enemy.
It’s a little wonder that these capes have found their way onto the backs of the real-life superheroes, as they have become a part of the modern-day women’s clothing designs. Women are Afterall, the superheroes in our everyday lives.
We’ve all come across the famous cape-like jackets and other cape inspired designs, making the rounds in the 2018 fashion scene.
From the stunning Salvatore Ferragamo Fall 2016 cape jacket design, snatched off the runway by Nigeria’s First Lady Aisha Buhari, to the amazing cape inspired wedding outfit with which the famous American tennis superstar, Serena Williams, dazzled the world at her 2017 fall wedding.
These unique cape-inspired outfits, continue to metamorphose through an evolution of designs, weaves, and styles, created in different fabrics by renowned designers through to the 2018 fashion season.
These unique and stylish designs have adorned the backs of famous superstars such as the beautiful American singer and actress, Jennifer Lopez, the adorable actress, and businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow, and Nigeria’s famous top Nollywood actress and movie producer, Genevieve Nnaji.
Royalty has not been left out of the trend as they have also taken a liking to these unique designs as seen on the stunning Duchess of Sussex, and retired American actress Meghan Markle, and the regal Queen Mathilde of Belgium.
These stunning women have rocked these designs, leaving different fashion statements in their wake. Royalty, professional women, entrepreneurs, socialites, entertainers, and of course, working girls like me all have a one or a couple cape inspired outfits in added to their wardrobe.
There is no doubt that just like jumpsuits have become an irreplaceable constant in women’s wardrobes, these designs are here to stay.
I own a couple, tailored in different designs, just like some of my fashion loving friends; and when I come across a fashion trend that is fast becoming a classic, I like to know where it originated from. So, I did some research, and here’s what I found.
First of all, a cape is a sleeveless outer garment, which drapes the wearer’s back, arms, and chest, and fastens at the neck. Familiar right? Well, it was a common fashion in medieval Europe, especially when combined with a hood in the chaperon, and it has since then, had periodic returns to fashion.
In nineteenth-century Europe, the Roman Catholic clergy wore a type of cape known as a ferraiolo, which is worn for formal events outside a ritualistic context. It looks quite familiar if you ask me.
Caped overcoats were also popular for men during the Victorian era, with some caped Ulsters featuring multiple layered capes, and the Inverness coat (both formal evening and working day variants). We just tweaked it up a little bit, and it sure looks stunning on women.
There have also been several modifications to this beautiful classic, so if you are getting ready for a chic lit outing, a business meeting, a flash party or an evening on the red carpet event, there is definitely a cape-inspired outfit to go with.
Dress the way you want to be addressed right? Well, that’s what we are doing.
Women are Afterall the Real superheroes, why not look the part?
By Boma Benjy Iwuoha
Several years ago, we could say that there was a huge career gap between the genders all over the world. More women were involved in caregiving roles, family functions, and specific jobs which were considered suitable for women (because of the deeply rooted feminine features, and ability to multi-task within somewhat stress-free subtleties) such as teaching, nursing, and catering. Women were regarded as the “weaker sex” as they were generally considered incapable of keeping up with roles that involved security, physical strength and might, and an all-around mental/emotional stability.
The men, on the other hand, were seen as protectors, leaders, and builder who in most cases, have things figured out. This notion was born out of a close study of natural occurrences over time and not particularly because a certain category of the individual was selected to be marginalized. A meta-analysis concluded that men prefer working with things and women prefer working with people.
In the past in developing continents like Africa and Asia, customs and traditions dictated the roles of each member of the society. For instance, in rural African communities where communal living was the structure upon which they were built, girls were groomed to be home keepers and in order to avoid distractions, they weren’t sent to school. At that time, the only medals a woman could get revolved around being responsible through marriage, being a good home keeper (which included the proper training of her girl children), and the act of submission as a wife. Short of these, she was limited in vision not because she couldn’t dream big dreams, but rather because she didn’t even know what to dream about. Her society had made her short-sighted to the possibilities of career paths.
It was not the men that limited her by relegating her to the background and seizing choice jobs in exotic places. No! it was cultural norms passed down from one generation to the next. The custodians of these norms didn’t know any better. They saw a weaker sex and not the strength capable of causing socioeconomic development across nations of the world.
An article by Rebecca Onion titled “Unclaimed Treasures of Science “, reveals that as far back as the Cold War, there were already women in STEM in the developed countries. The official government line during the Cold War was: STEM careers for everyone! But as historians Margaret Rossiter and Sevan Terzian have pointed out, that push for science, technology, engineering, and math conflicted with gender norms and discriminatory institutional practices, resulting in a confusing set of mixed messages for women and girls. A book by historian Laura Micheletti Puaca titled “Searching for Scientific Womanpower: Technocratic Feminism and the Politics of National Security, 1940-1980 buttresses this point. Puaca wrote about female scientists, engineers, and educators who used innovative tactics to help women succeed in STEM, long before second-wave feminism in the late 1960s and the 1970s made issues of employment equity and stereotyping part of the national conversation.
According to the historian, World War II gave women their starting point. During the war, demands for more of what was often called “scientific manpower” and a shortage of civilian male workers prompted government and industry to start programs to train women in science and engineering. But when men returned from the service, women’s status in STEM fields worsened. The GI Bill sent a flood of male students to American universities, and opportunities—both for women who had gotten quick wartime training and for more established female scientists—dried up.
Importance of having women in STEM
It goes without saying that it has become a necessity to have more women in the STEM fields with the rush of digitalization consuming the world. The coming years will see massive changes in all sectors of the economy and nations of the world need to be prepared for this surge. Women constitute up to half of the world’s population, they are ready to be involved in developmental activities and should be put to good use. In addition, STEM-related organizations and groups must be commended for their relentless efforts towards encouraging a greater participation of women and girls in STEM fields and activities.
The way forward
Despite the successes already recorded regarding women participation in STEM activities, there is a lot of work to be done.
Mentors: There is the need for a greater support and encouragement from mentor figures. This will go a long way in women’s decisions of whether or not to continue pursuing a career in their discipline.
This may be particularly true for younger individuals who may face many obstacles early in their careers. Since these younger individuals often look to those who are more established in their discipline for help and guidance, the responsiveness and helpfulness of potential mentors are incredibly important.
Cultural Exchange: Another way to spike up the number of women in STEM is through Cultural exchanges.
It is true that some tribes and races have cultural barriers which may affect their decisions, cultural exchange programmes should be incorporated in those systems to enlighten such communities on the benefits of having women who are self-reliant.
By: Eruke Ojuederie
Examining the life of a Woman and her journey in S.T.E.M, you will find that almost everything she ever did from the stone age till date has had some elements of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math, which in today’s world is referred to as S.T.E.M.
Now, when we think about S.T.E.M and related jobs, we envision Physicists, Aeronautic Engineers, Software Developers, Biotechnologist, Medical Doctors and the likes. We tend to see more men in these fields and it is only natural to assume that men have always dominated these fields. This is not completely true, women have always been in the S.T.E.M field from the beginning of time, however, their contributions have not been adequately recognized or commended. Some may argue that this lack of appreciation may have contributed to the decline in the number of girls interested in S.T.E.M fields.
In this edition, we are looking at certain factors that make up the S.T.E.M disciplines and how much women have contributed to them over the years.
Let’s take a closer look at the genesis of machinery, which we identify as “technology” today, and the invention of some household products; we would find that long before we had modern-day science to create new and easier methods of performing household chores and activities, women had always performed all these activities without the use of technology. Women washed, cooked, cared for the daily health needs of their family, devised means to preserve foods etc.
Women changed the world through S.T.E.M in areas like:
Research: Many simple things that have been modified today for daily use, were as a result of women’s discoveries, for example, researchers from the ACI, while describing the origin of soaps, state that women found that a slippery mixture of melted animal fat (or tallow), washed down from Mount Sapo (sapo: the name from which the name soap is derived), the mountain where animals were sacrificed, made their wash much cleaner without much effort, this led to the discovery and manufacture of soap. Maybe we owe the amazing feel of clean fresh washed clothes to women.
Technology: Have you ever wondered whom to thank when you’re getting your coffeemaker ready for your first cup of the day? Melitta Bentz was a German Housewife and entrepreneur who invented the coffee filter in 1908. Bentz modified the old tedious method of coffee brewing to a new method. She received a patent for her coffee filter system in 1908 and founded a business that still exists today.
Looking further into how certain tasks were achieved in the past, you would see that there was quite a very strong influence of the women community in how things were done.
Women such as Ellen Eglin an African-American who during the 1800’s invented a clothes wringer, which started the mechanization of the uncomfortable but predominant method of hand washing. Her invention would be further modified as washing machines today.
Eglin sold her patent to a “white person interested in manufacturing the product” for $18. The buyer went on to reap considerable financial awards, while Eglin, disadvantaged in colour and gender, spent her life making a living as a housekeeper and a government clerk.
Going back to the past, and women’s’ contributions to the S.T.E.M field, let’s take a look at the subject of water purification. A scientific process, pioneered by a woman Hypatia.
Chemistry: Hypatia lived in Alexandria Egypt from 350–370 died 415 AD; she was a Hellenistic Neoplatonist philosopher, astronomer, and mathematician. She taught philosophy and astronomy and is recorded as the first female mathematician whose life is reasonably well documented. Hypatia was one of the scientific pioneers that introduced the distillation of water which has now become a common activity in every household. Easy as it now seems, it was considered a scientific exploit meant to make a substance purer than its original state. A process made possible by the contributions of a woman, and not many people have heard of her.
In tackling this issue of how much influence or participation women had in S.T.E.M in the past, it can also be viewed be from a very unconventional point of view. Take Alchemy, (defined by the urban dictionary as a form of chemistry before the periodic table, and speculative philosophy practiced in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance which was aimed at transmutation of the base metals into gold) – some called it magic. During the time of the alchemist, women had far more reputable standing especially in the depth of their research when compared to men in the field of alchemy. Something their male colleagues did not particularly like.
A good example of such a woman is Marie le Jars de Gournay, who was not allowed to receive the same education in science as her brothers. Blessed with an inquisitive mind, she was able to teach herself Latin and later went on to edit academic manuscripts. As a fully-grown woman and with all the knowledge she had acquired, she became the first female mineralogist and mining engineer.
She later moved to Paris, where she tried her hands at alchemy and published books expressing her views on how women were very much capable of creating a career for themselves in science-related fields like men. During her practice of alchemy, in a time when people still believed in magical creatures and witchcraft. Marie who was very proud of her work ignored the advice of people who cautioned her to stay away from mining. Her bold refusal to give up her practice had her accused of witchcraft and imprisoned, she died in jail at age eighty (80). How dare she thrive in a ‘Man’s’ field, poor Marie.
Isabelle Cortese is another remarkable Alchemist who lived during the sixteenth century in Italy. She chronicled her discoveries in her book titled “The Secrets of Signora Isabella Cortese”. Among her discoveries include; practical methods of perfume production; the production of essential oils and methods of melting metals to make durable jewellery. Most of her works are still in use today.
Innovation: In the area of manufacturing, we have Margaret E. Knight, she was born February 1838, in York, Maine. Armed with only a basic education, she started as a mill worker at age 12. Witnessing an accident at the mill, where a worker was stabbed by a steel-tipped shuttle from a loom, Knight was prompted to invent a safety device for the loom – Her first invention. A device which was later adopted by other mills in Manchester. Several years later, Knight moved to Springfield, Massachusetts, where she was hired by the Columbia Paper Bag Company; here she invented a machine that folds and glues paper to form the flat-bottomed brown paper bags familiar to shoppers today.
While Knight was still working to perfect the processing machinery, Charles F Annan, a would-be-inventor of dubious morality, tried to bully her out of her hard work, stealing her design, and patenting the device. Knight filed a successful patent interference lawsuit and in 1871, and she was awarded the patent. Before her death, Knight held over 20 patents and a decoration by Queen Victoria. At the time of her death in 1914, an obituary described her as a “Woman Edison” A name which many people will come to remember her by. Somewhat dispiriting, to think that she needed a reference to male inventor for the value of her work to be understood?
Katharine Burr Blodgett is another remarkable woman, an American physicist, and chemist known for her work on surface chemistry. Blodgett contributed important research to military needs. Her work in chemistry resulted in her most influential invention: non-reflective glass. Her non-reflective glass is today, an essential for eyeglasses, car windshields, and computer screens. She was a pioneer in several respects, but how many know about her?
The list of women that have made remarkable contributions to various branches of S.T.E.M remain unending, however, the questions remain “What happened?”, “Where did it all change?”. Women had always been in the S.T.E.M field, what held them back to create the gap?
We can see that there was quite a large number of women who were genuinely interested in this field of study, but over time the number began to dwindle. Taking into consideration, the environmental, societal and mental factors that have come into play between then and now, we can begin to understand why women and girls are slowly losing interest in the S.T.E.M. community.
Some of the reasons include: They were not encouraged; they were held back by pressures; their efforts were sabotaged, and they are oftentimes not acknowledged for their contributions.
The most common is lack of Encouragement. Most cultures in the world have given a high level of dominance to the male-folks when it comes to studying S.T.E.M related courses. It is no new issue that some countries see the place of the woman solely in a domestic light. Little wonder girls who study in all girl’s schools tend to be more interested in the S.T.E.M field, and oftentimes outperform their co-ed counterparts. Psychologists found they have less discouragement and little or no negative comparison which their co-ed counterparts are regularly faced with.
What do we do?
Create an “I Can Do It” Atmosphere. In order to excite the minds young girls into studying S.T.E.M related courses, they need to be exposed to the right atmosphere. Vanessa Vakharia who runs The Math Guru science and math studio noted that one of the reasons for the low number of girls in science, is simple; many girls have come to believe that they do not have what it takes to be in S.T.E.M. She advises that incorporating a more psychological and critical means of approach would benefit the girls, especially while they are still trying to figure out who they are.
Mentors and Role Models for Girls in S.T.E.M. The place of role models cannot be overemphasized when it comes to the girl child development, this cuts across all areas, education, workforce etc. Increasing access to S.T.E.M Mentors (women who have excelled in these fields) for the young girls, would go a long way toward building their self-confidence. Interaction with S.T.E.M mentors would serve as a confidence booster, and as a driving force towards achieving their goals.
Condition their minds. It’s quite common knowledge parents and guardians play an important role in preparing their children psychologically towards their career path. They can do this in various ways; for instance, introducing a variety of television programs that can help them identify what their kids are interested in – e.g. kids may show interest in S.T.E.M inclined programs like Doc McStuffins or Dexter’s Laboratory, which gives you an idea of where best to channel their energy
Other areas include; S.T.E.M inclined books, toys, fun activities like visiting the aquarium; that way you will awaken the marine biologist in them. You can also encourage your girls to participate in their school’s science exhibitions e.t.c.
While early school years can contribute to developing an interest in S.T.E.M in girls, parents can also work towards encouraging their kids with the littlest things in their surroundings. A little nudge once in a while can help create that enthusiasm to study.
S.T.E.M is a very broad and interesting study area and having more women interested in it will definitely be better for the world.
With the various drives going on in Africa to reduce the number of people infected and living with HIV/AIDS, the Consortium of Leadership & Gender Experts (CLGE] has been set up to bridge the gender discriminations that exists on the continent. In an exclusive interview with Amazons Watch Magazine, Dr Tinaye tells us more about the future of Africa and what the plans for PLWHA are on the continent. Excerpts:
I am, first and foremost a nurse, at heart and by training but, I was never a clinical nurse! I went in as a Clinical Instructor/Student Fellow upon nursing training completion. After working for just over a year I went for further studies to read for a Bachelors’ Degree, Education at the University. Later, I obtained a Master of Science, Midwifery and Doctor of Philosophy (Sociology) Degrees. I lectured health professionals – Midwives – over a 15-year period. During this tenure, I rose through the academic ladder within a Public Tertiary Institution to the highest rank of Senior Lecturer and doubled as Program Coordinator for the program. I cherish those years since Midwifery is close to my heart. Back then, job satisfaction came from observing starry faced Midwifery novices turning into seasoned dexterous professionals capable of managing expectant women through the delivery of live and healthy bundles of joy! Many of my former students continue to humble me by expressing gratitude for setting them up a career advancement pathway every time we meet! As I also proved adept at administration, I swiftly progressed in my career to management level with the admiration of my peers and gratification of my employer. All this achievement came with hard work, humility and by Grace!
Notwithstanding this rather picturesque experience, professional agitation for better and bigger calls knocked at my door. This was in the form of organizational politicking and a nagging feeling to move on to other agendas. I was always passionate about making something out of myself by giving towards bettering other peoples’ lives. So, I joined international NGOs to do development projects addressing topical health issues of the day. In the early 2000s, HIV was the biggest deal. In 2002, together with the Country Director and I as Country Deputy Director set up a Botswana subsidiary of PSG-South Africa known as Matshelo Community Development Association (MCDA), to run an HIV Prevention Program for 11 SADC countries underfunding that was previously managed by the University of Botswana- Center for Continuing Education. The subsidiary CBO exists up to date. The project was a broad-based project and aimed at addressing foundational and structural barriers to HIV prevention. It adopted participatory educational and outreach approaches through the use of peer education techniques and targeted vulnerable and hard to reach community groups (including youth particularly girls, out of school youth, unemployed women and sex workers among others). It was a multi-faceted project with capacity building of core groups to cascade skills and knowledge to peers in their communities serving as the main instrument for operating at scale to attain a felt impact. In Botswana, we worked in 16 sites along the railway line and border town communities. It was a marvellous project that allowed African countries to share experiences on the trajectory of HIV and AIDS; research engagements and bring results from various parts of the sub-continent together creating holistic telling loops about the scourge and; create a momentous feeling for regional clusters to catch up or do better amidst a sense of camaraderie and oneness!
With lessons from MCDA work, regional and international exchanges, I set up a project as Country Director for Johns Hopkins University Center for Communication Programs in Botswana. The project, Gender Initiative on Girls’ Vulnerability, simply known as GGI for Go! Girls Initiative aimed at reducing girls’ vulnerability through a multi-dimensional approach embracing all groups of people that impact girls’ HIV status. It included intervention research- pre-assessments, designing action packages using research findings and developing relevant materials for the programs, working with communities to act and reviewing results of the action. I couldn’t benefit any better from a project and I regard it as the epitome of my career! The pleasure of working with mothers, girls and boys, adult men and women in their communities, tribal authorities, extension workers, government officials (middle supervisors) and policymakers was immeasurable. The enthusiasm and commitment to do something about their life situation and promote the safety of the girl child were palpable across communities. The greatest lesson for me was how lopsided our common top-down public planning undermines the very outcomes for which we strive! I thought a little nudge in the right direction for inclusivity and full participation of all towards solving social and development challenges can tip the scales positively big time. This was a turning point for me which explains my inspiration to found CLGE – a vehicle for transforming lives for the better!
Working for the UNDP, Botswana felt like a final stopover in my employment career for advisory/policy formulation and advocacy purposes. Given the wealth of lessons from the amazing organizations I partook in, surely, I wasn’t short of contributions. As Manager for the Country Office Health, HIV and Gender Programme, I smoothly contributed to the formulation, review and design of policies and guidelines working alongside government institutions. Some strategic formulations include; the National HIV/AIDS Strategic Plan and its implementation tools, Gender and Development Policy and needs assessment studies for various policy reforms e.g. family policy, gender mainstreaming in various policies etc. I enjoyed engagement in different dialogue platforms for many social and development work.
Familiarity with the UN system was an eye opener about the institutionalization of power and how national/regional/international efforts sidetrack the man on the ground despite the good intentions. Indication – there are gaps that require to be filled to complete the circuit by reaching out to where it matters most – grassroots!
Actually, figures were slightly adjusted according to the results of the last Botswana AIDS Impact Survey IV of 2013. Botswana has moved to third place after Lesotho and Swaziland. Prevalence now stands at 16.9%. Figures may not indicate a drastic improvement but, the downward trend is a promising sign. However, prevalence remains extremely high and it is expected to remain so for quite some time. To clarify, national prevalence shows how widespread the infection is in the country, i.e. the proportion of infected individuals to the population size. Given Botswana’s high infection rates in earlier years, it will take time to have more people in the population who are free of infection. These individuals are expected to come from uninfected newborn babies who will grow up into older population groups without being infected. Also, older people (children, youth and adults) who will remain uninfected should increase the size of the group of those people who remain free of infection in the population. I am happy to say we see signs that this picture is emerging. One good reason for this is the drop in the incidence rate (2.47 in 2013 from 2.9 in 2008). Incidence is the speed at which new cases occur over a period of time. But, Botswana’s challenge is to step up behaviour change efforts by helping individuals to become stronger in adopting safety measures. These measures should not be those highly reliant on biomedical techniques like PMTCT, which in our case contributed much to fall in incidence. We should plan of launching our HIV free infants into a childhood and youth space where they can be bold and resilient to avoid infection at all costs as they approach the riskiest years of their lives (adolescence and the childbearing period). These periods cover years that individuals are most sexually active. Serious dangers of HIV spread during the periods are associated with socio-cultural and gender inequalities and discrimination that increases risks for girls, women and inversely affects everyone. So, Botswana should implement combination prevention as soon as yesterday to reduce HIV incidence across a wide spectrum of population age groups resulting in much prevalence reduction. Such prevention measures require deliberate and coordinated empowerment of women, girls, men and boys towards a common vision, in addition to biomedical techniques
I am a people person who likes helping out all the time. So, I believe my work against HIV/AIDS began well before I started working on formal HIV related projects through my efforts as community worker towards all those around me – family, co-workers and social groups. I was always concerned about the consequences of behaviour on one’s life and was ready with a word of encouragement or counsel to support pro-life behaviour with tangible and sustainable benefits. This life outlook drifted me from the training of health professionals towards development projects. I started off as Country Deputy Director for Botswana in a regional HIV Prevention Program run for 11 SADC countries back in 2001 by Project Support Group (PSG) – a South African based NGO. We worked with universities on intervention research projects towards prevention – University of Botswana- Center for Continuing Education, University of Zimbabwe and the University of Oslo- Center for Anthropology. We also worked with vulnerable groups such as girls, out of school and unemployed youth, and women in communities to build their capacity and improve livelihoods. Then, I was Country Director for Botswana in a Johns Hopkins University –Center for Communications Programs project known as the Gender Initiative on Girls’ Vulnerability in three SADC countries – Botswana, Malawi & Mozambique. I was directing research activities for Botswana, planning program activities and overseeing all program activities in communities to complement regional project efforts. The focus was still on capacity building with an evidence base from the research findings to reduce girls’ vulnerability to HIV infection. I derived the greatest satisfaction out of my work life from these years as I could relate the value of academic work to life realities and at the same time bring worthy experiences to the learning table for dialogue and investigation. I regard this link as one of the biggest missing factors between education and its role in developing lives. Still in development work, I then worked for UNDP heading their Health/HIV and Gender Program. At this level my work focused on advisory services and policy formulation at national level. Tapping from my previous work experience I finally set up the Consortium of Leadership & Gender Experts [CLGE], a social enterprise that seeks to build leadership capacity for all to transform lives by addressing barriers such as discriminatory practices like gender, social exclusion by class/status etc. I believe the most lethal weapon for prevention of HIV transmission is the capacity to take charge of one’s life and avoid likely pitfalls that compromise individuals’ resilience and independence e.g. socio-cultural and gender pressures. I believe that taking charge of self is a leadership function!
Challenges in the school system are only but an iceberg of a much wider social problem that plagues girls and women. Problems faced by girls at school are true signs of institutionalized social problems by gender lines. Problems in schools stand out because of the larger pool of girls in the same space over a period of time. But, imagine that individuals, girls and women are suffering the same fate silently in their various corners. Although everyone agrees that acts of violence and discrimination should be stopped, on a social level, tokenism exists. What I mean is that people believe that this is how society is and so, such acts should be expected – foundational misconceptions! It is important to instigate action for social transformation of both men and women at all levels – individual, peer networks, institutions and wider society. I believe the key to transformation is the creation of a shared vision in which both men and women are winners and beneficiaries with a vested interest in the change. As it is now, the gender equality drive appears to be characterized by opposing interests. We can never win, that way!
I don’t cry for balance. I give thanks for the opportunity to do what I need to do when I do it! And still, give thanks for relaxation windows! That is what life is about. Balance comes because you are able to do what you like best, anywhere! My family is priority number one because relationships matter most to me. But, I am most pleasant and meaningful to them when I contribute at best towards my life course…. i.e. doing and saying that which brings a smile to everyone, fighting for fairness and justice for ALL. I am a grandmother of a lovely young girl. While I have always felt so much love for our son and daughter, I never felt so much fulfilment and a sense of extension into infinity until my granddaughter was born. It is such an amazing feeling…a blissful feeling of accomplishment that you cannot ascribe to any effort of yours! Although my husband hasn’t expressed it, I have always caught a glimpse of that contented smile on him when he watches the girl during her funny moments! The other thought that carries me through tough times is the love from mum and dad, and the feeling of belonging I developed growing up with my sisters.
QUOTE: “I believe the most lethal weapon for prevention of HIV transmission is the capacity to take charge of one’s life and avoid likely pitfalls that compromise individuals’ resilience and independence.”
As parents, we find often find ourselves in a situation where we have to put our feet down and completely disagree with our teenage wards. It could be due to their late-night habits, rude retorts or simply avoiding daily chores. Have you ever wondered what your teenage daughter would choose if she was presented with the options to stay with you, or be emancipated?
Ariel Winter, an American actress and voice actress, popularly known for her role as Alex Dunphy in the comedy series Modern Family, earned her legal right to emancipation at 17, in 2015. As stories of her emancipation due to a complicated and somewhat strained relationship with her mother swarmed the media, it was sure to give mothers a great cause for concern.
Teenagers had a new weapon, they could threaten to file for emancipation and get away with mischief; Many parents wondered if they were getting it right with their teens; What I’m I doing wrong? I wish she would talk to me and not a stranger; some thought their daughter would choose to be emancipated if presented with that option.
In this article, Lauren Paige Kennedy Journalist and author of Keeping Mum: On Mothers & Mortality, tries to allay the fears of these mums with tips on 10 Things to Say to Your Teenage Daughter Who Wants to Be Emancipated. She writes:
We moms can’t help but recognize the all-but-universal dynamic between freedom-chasing teenagers and harried parents. Generations consistently clash over the obvious and mostly mundane: broken curfews, obnoxious boyfriends, snarky attitudes and that hidden stash of weed beneath the bed.
Still, you know what they say: God made teenagers so mothers would want to cut the apron strings – joke. Here’s how to answer your darling high school senior when she threatens to walk. (Try to restrain yourself from telling her to run.)
– Make her understand walking away means taking absolute responsibility for her wellbeing and giving up all that she is dependent on you for. Mummy cannot be all that bad, and chances are, she doesn’t have Ariel’s unlimited resources.
– Now this may sound a bit exaggerated, Lauren is simply saying, refer her to the bills. Money does not fall from trees, it is earned.
– So, she thinks she has an unlimited supply of blank checks, she needs to know the money is drawn from someone income, and those blank checks ae sure cease when she becomes emancipated.
– Mum’s may sometimes seem like a neurotic bunch who just love to get on their nerves, but truth be told? They will miss you if they left.
– They do borrow your car, jewelry and Gucci purse, let them know they can’t do that when they are gone. You are an adult, get yours.
– Again, let her know they days of extras from mum’s pocket are over.
– Throw that in her face, you have other use for that corner room.
– This is very important, direction is the word; remind her who she wants to be, right now, she probably thinks being free of you would make her happy, paint a mental picture and ensure she understands it.
– Finally, do not forget to remind her, that you love her, and even when you do not agree, she is special and will always be. Let her understand that discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
Lauren passes the message in a rather snacky way, but I bet the message is clear. “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going” – Helen Keller
What better way to show someone that something is achievable than to point them in the direction of someone who actually did? Not just anyone but someone with a similar background as their own.
Despite the efforts of the women’s movement across the globe women are still largely marginalized in terms of their participation in political, economic and social processes that affect them the most. The 21st-century woman has found her voice yet the percentage of women having a powerful role in different sectors is not reflective of her efforts. She is still not paid enough and there are still sectors she is nervous to approach and this is partly because she has believed that certain goals are not possible to achieve. At the same time venturing into a certain profession with no real guidance, no known success stories, no knowledge of what is required to succeed and no real motivation is a challenge for many young women. This is where role models such as Michelle Obama come in yet one of the biggest obstacles young women face is their absence.
What is a role model? A sociologist Robert K. Merton was the one who coined the term to describe the ways that people model sets of behaviours they admire in others. A role model is a person whose behaviour, example, or success can be emulated by others, especially younger people.
So why should women have female role models? Research has led to the conclusion that women benefit more from same-gender role models as compared to men. These are the people whom young women use to define their own identities, gauge their own potential and whose behaviour they will emulate. Let’s explore this idea in greater detail.
Confidence. It often feels intimidating to venture into new territory that no one (you know) has ventured before. It is easier to believe in the possibility of positive change if it happens to someone who had circumstances that are similar to your own. Female role models are important because they instill confidence in young women. Evidence has shown that exposure to female role models may be an effective way to induce more women to major in male-dominated fields. Accomplishments of women such as Barbara Askins – (an American chemist, known for her invention of a method to enhance underexposed photographic negatives, an invention used by NASA and the medical industry) in the Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) have instilled confidence in young women that they can successfully venture into the same field. A woman needs to see confidence, leadership, and accomplishment in other women in order to envision herself ad finally attain those qualities from these powerful, positive role models (Meier 2018). Jenny Willott; a British Member of Parliament was quoted by the Chartered Management Institute (2014) saying: “Role models encourage women to believe in their own abilities – from girls at school making decisions about their future, to young women starting their careers wondering how far they can get.” Hence female role models are important because they instill confidence in young women in that they quench the need these women have to see people like themselves succeeding in similar fields.
Inspiration through the provision of practical knowledge. “It is achievable. It is not too late for me.” This and similar positive outlooks are born from the inspiration that comes with female role models for young women. Hope is what keeps us alive. It is what drives us and determines our goals, plans subsequently our actions. Female role models such as Oprah Winfrey who rose above major hardships to become very influential are giving young women hope for a better future in different sectors. In the Lockwood and Kunda’s research (2006) demonstrated that an important part of the value of role models is that they are symbols of possibility and offering inspiration. Without female figures such as Serena Williams in the field of sports to look up to, girls miss out on the encouragement, inspiration, and exhilaration that can come from looking up to, and cheering for, a sports idol. (Huggins and Randell 2007) Examples of success stories provide young women with more easily imaginable visions of the success experienced by the role models hence in their minds it becomes attainable and replicable.
Learning from experiences. Female role models also provide the methodology towards success. Their experiences can answer the “How did you get there?” question. Young women can draw a lot of lessons through hearing how their role models came to face challenges and found the right solutions. These are the women who have successfully navigated the career these young women eventually hope to achieve. Looking at role models such as Thai Lee – the Korean American billionaire businesswoman, and president of SHI International, one can learn a lot from her life story and deduce lessons as to how she found herself at the top.
Enforce a positive view of women. Female role models are important in the changing of societal perceptions of women. With the birth of influential female role models, there has been a favourable shift in the societal perception of the role of women, which has led to increased participation in the formal labour employment and other economic activities. Female role models have often been the catalysts that challenge gender stereotypes. For example, through their achievements, elite female athletes dispel the misconception that sport is not biologically or socially appropriate for females. When more and more women are seen in the top of organizations and running high growth technology businesses, the more this will be regarded as the standard and a perfectly normal, and logical, path to choose.
Work beyond inspiring. Michelle Obama kick-started health, education, and other programs as soon as she got into the white house. This is but one of the examples of how female role models have been directly having a positive influence on the fight against poverty, exploitation, and oppression through their advocacy efforts. Nowadays most female role models advocate for opportunities for girls and other women.
Promotion of Ethical Leadership. Recently there has been a focus on the creation of ethical young leaders as part of developmental efforts with special attention being given to efforts in encouraging ethnic leadership in young women. Female role models are commonly expected to behave in an ethically extraordinary manner. It is often assumed that SRMs must be moral exemplars worthy of emulation.
Increased participation of women. Ultimately female role models lead to increased participation of young women. It is argued that ‘The use of high-profile female sports ambassadors and role models can [also] be effective in promoting female participation. More visible women as decision-makers as well as displayed female leadership skills may motivate women and girls, thus increasing female participation at all levels in sport (UN 2007).
Not all role models have a positive influence. Unfortunately, however, the term role model does not always entail positive influence. Young women encounter both positive and negative role models. Success does not necessarily translate into being a role model. Young women are then faced with a task to evaluate virtues, values, and expectations when looking at potential role models.
The importance of female role models indeed cannot be undervalued. Female role models are important in the context of achieving gender equality and generally in the context of positive social change in society. In the end, there is nothing more powerful than the impact of a woman’s effort to uplift another.
By Karen Whitney Maturure